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Ever
think about what it would be like to start a fantasy fly fishing league
with your buddies? There are online fantasy leagues now for all of the
professional sports, and golfers and bowlers have their weekly contests,
so why not have a friendly forum for your favorite pastime of all? But
wait a minute, you say; how would you rate anglers for drafting
purposes? Unlike professional sports, where a single stat sheet tells
you everything you need to know about a player, fly fishing has no
performance rating system. There are no casting averages, no hook-up to
landing ratios, no trophy percentages. Sure, we could start keeping
track of all that stuff, but there’s one quality that’s far more telling
about an angler’s prowess: His hat.
Fly fishing is a sport involving a great
deal of folklore. Storytelling is a quintessential part of this special
hobby, hence the fishermen’s propensity for fish tales, lie-&-tie’s, and
fishing journalism. And what tells a particular individual’s story
better than his hat? With one glance, you more or less know where he’s
been, what he’s about, and how long he’s been at it. You might even be
able to deduce who he works for, who he works with, or if he works at
all. The Hat will also display a token sample of his favorite pattern,
as well as a few less productive models to throw you off. In essence,
The Fishing Hat is like a resume that you wear on your head.
Not every hat is worthy of being deemed The
Fishing Hat. It must exhibit certain qualities; durability,
breathability, protection from the sun and from errant casts, etc. Of
course, different situations warrant different fishing hats. Regardless
though, there are some qualities which The Fishing Hat must NOT have .
For example, wide-brims and bucket hats have their place, but the
neck-flap is an absolute no-no in my book. I don’t care if you are 100%
Irish and you are fishing on the sun, find a way to ditch the flap.
The Fishing Hat is also the angler’s
billboard, a medium for self-promotion. It can say things like “I am a
guide and this is my river, so promptly find your own piece of water
before I insert a 2/0 hook in your ear.” It could also say something
along the lines of “I am a distinguished gentleman and aspiring Orvis
model. If you see me on the river, please take my picture and submit it
for next month’s catalogue to be placed next to the dog beds and
leather-bound flasks.” As not to mislead, I have seen some pretty
talented fishermen sporting some pretty dopey lids (exhibit A: Lefty
Kreh). As far as image is concerned, I guess it’s up to you to make it
work.
If you do decide to start a weekend fishing
league, remember that The Hat is the ultimate stat. Let your buddy with
that “cool” jungle safari hat know that it may be time for a new head
cover. And choose wisely for yourself, because we all know that it’s
not what you say, but how you say it.

-
Jim
Lampros
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